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{<b><p18> ISFJ <p12><n>}
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{<b>Service Before Self<n>

<IB>General Statement:<N> They are the embodiment of home and hearth. Duty to mate and children precedes all else. ISFJs have a phenomenal capacity to tend to the needs of everyone else around them before they bother to take care of themselves. The danger is that others are likely to take advantage of their generosity and dependability; they can become the family doormat. But they are dependable nonetheless, making them a stabilizing factor in a relationship.

<IB>First Impressions:<N> Their quietness belies their rock-solidness. They dress and act appropriately, usually offering the correct word for any situation. Their presence is felt, but it is not invading. After an initial encounter, one is likely to say, "What a pleasant person to be around."

<IB>Communications:<N> Though slow to express their own needs, they are straightforward and precise when they do speak. They are not given to argument, and expect others to act similarly. They can spot phoniness at a glance; they recognize when they are being snowed by a mate, child, or anyone else. For them communication is a simple matter: Say what you mean and mean what you say.

<IB>Finance:<N> They are very good with facts and figures, though they tend to be conservative with money matters. Though they often underestimate their math abilities, they are masters at handling the family checkbook. They are not likely to go into debt; for them you can't spend money until you have it. Credit cards are the bane of their existence because they can entice people to spend money they don't yet have, causing them to lose control of their finances.

<IB>Conflict:<N> As with other Feelers, conflict can be difficult. They must be pushed to the limit before they will bother to openly disagree. When they do, it can be like a dam that has burst: They may unleash a pent-up laundry list of faults, slights, and wrong-doings. Though they may feel guilty after such an outburst, they will likely view it as a purging and refreshing experience.

<IB>Sex and Intimacy:<N> Their intimacy is more an act of duty than a free, open expression of love. However, it is through such duty that a relationship can deepen and grow, thereby making intimacy itself more satisfying and meaningful. ISFJs see intimacy as an opportunity to say "I love you" in a very physical and tangible way. It is the ISFJ who is most likely to say, "I have never refused him/her."

<IB>Commitment:<N> Life, for ISFJs, is about commitment, and so life's ultimate pleasure is a commitment to a lifelong relationship. It is abhorrent to even consider breaking a relationship commitment. If a relationship seems off course, an ISFJ will likely feel he or she isn't working hard enough to keep the commitment. They will work extremely hard to get things on the right track, even if that goal remains ever elusive.

<IB>Parenting:<N> It is a responsibility and a duty. The ISFJs' mission is to impose obligations and appropriateness so that children grow into wise and responsible adults.

<IB>Contracting:<N> This is another goal and another duty for ISFJs, which one moves toward fulfilling. Reaching the goal will result in a better or clearer relationship. You set your sights, reach them, cross them off the list, then move on to the next important relationship concern. ISFJs are bound by their contracts, and expect others to be, too.

<IB>Ending Relationships:<N> They will hang on to a relationship long after it ends. Even after the death of a spouse, they will resist dating, or even certain kinds of socializing, if it means they may be untrue to their beloved. The end of a relationship can be crushing and stressful to ISFJs. Having fulfilled their duty and remained true to their vows, they can't imagine how things went awry.}
