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{<b><p18> ENFJ <p12><n>}
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{<b>The Relationship Is Everything<n>

<IB>General Statement:<N> The relationship junkies. Generally skilled at interpersonal dynamics, they are an inspiration to, and are inspired by, others. They do well motivating those closest to them and generally are happiest when a mate responds to their affirmations. The ENFJ also loves to rescue and take care of his or her mate and children. Though such caretaking can at times be smothering, ENFJs are generally appreciated for warmth and affection.

<IB>First Impressions:<N> Fun and delightful. Not overly aware of protocol and appropriateness. ENFJs' facility with the spoken word, as well as their sensitivity to others, usually leaves positive first impressions. They are generally affirming and sensitive towards others, which is initially very evident in deeds and words.

<IB>Communications:<N> As a rule, they are good with words, though in an effort to be diplomatic in difficult situations they may hem and haw. Generous in their approval of others, they are quick to put people at ease and make them feel worthwhile.

<IB>Finance:<N> Their need for closure, coupled with a high concern for others, makes them use finances to serve some ideal. So while they may be somewhat conservative with money, they are generally responsible and effective in financial matters.

<IB>Conflict:<N> This is troublesome for ENFJs, something to be avoided. With such a positive approach to people, they use a great deal of time and energy to keep negative thoughts and actions from surfacing in the hopes that they will simply go away. There is no conflict so big that it cannot be swept under a rug with a few affirming words.

<IB>Sex and Intimacy:<N> As with other areas of life, intimacy is a chance to express caring and concern, so the mate's happiness and satisfaction is foremost in any intimate encounter. As with other Feelers, part of the ENFJs' need is to meet others' needs. Intimacy is a scheduled, affirming opportunity for sweet talk.

<IB>Commitment:<N> Not only is it lifelong, but ENFJs especially can be undone with guilt and self-blame if a relationship fails. They are more self-critical than some other types because they assume that much of the commitment's success is on their shoulders.

<IB>Parenting:<N> Because ENFJs have an unusually high need to impose their values on others, children are in the direct line of fire. So ENFJs see parenting as an awesome task in which they must be role models, responsible for shaping the kids up. Parenthood is the vehicle to pass on goals and ideals.

<IB>Contracting:<N> Like any other interpersonal enhancement, contracting is a positive experience. If it will help a couple grow, strengthen their relationship, or help them through a stressful situation, then a contract is by all means a good thing. The overriding force is the relationship, and anything that helps it is a plus.

<IB>Ending Relationships:<N> Though they may resist a relationship's end because of the fear of hurting someone, or not wanting to face the reality of the situation, once it becomes clear the relationship is over, they will end it and find a new mate relatively quickly. A poor relationship is better than none; after all, it still can be rescued and improved.}
