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{<b><p18> INTJ<p12><n>}
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{<b>Any Relationship Can Be Improved<n>

<IB>General Statement:<N> Among the most visionary of the sixteen types, whose gift to the world is independence. They prize their independence, and wish it upon everyone in their lives -- mate, children, friends, and associates. They face a constant challenge of reconciling the vision of a perfect relationship with reality. They are inclined to constantly improve every part of a relationship, no matter how good it may already be.

<IB>First Impressions:<N> Deep, somewhat serious, intellectually engaging. May appear somewhat aloof; may need to have the fun pulled out of them if it is to happen at all. INTJs generally will appreciate others doing that for them. They appear to "see" through you, giving you the impression that there is little they don't or can't understand.

<IB>Communications:<N> Slow to share, think deeply about every word spoken. Given half a chance, they can make any conversation complex. They love a conceptual exchange or discussion. Their comments can seem biting to others, though they are not necessarily intended that way. Often unwilling or unable to see their responsibility in a negative situation.

<IB>Sex and Intimacy:<N> Like much of life for INTJs, intimacy can be richer in its imagined state than in its actual experience. They need to think about intimacy, frame it, understand it, then work constantly at improving it and deepening it.

<IB>Finance:<N> Inwardly, they can have creative ideas and even develop iNtuitive schemes about money, but they tend to be conservative in the actual handling of it. As a general rule dealing with finances, especially the day-to-day stuff, is not one of their strengths.

<IB>Conflict:<N> They typically respond to conflict with something like, "I'll have to think about that." Though they do not shy away from a stressful encounter, they believe that if we better understood the words we speak, any conflict could easily be transformed into a learning experience with a positive outcome. They are often blamed by a more sensitive mate for intellectualizing or overanalyzing a situation when the mate only wanted support and understanding.

<IB>Commitment:<N> While they stand by their commitments, they may be occupied by reinterpretations of the original "contract." They believe a commitment is good as long as everybody involved understands the meaning of the word, all parties agree to that meaning, and it has not yet been redefined.

<IB>Parenting:<N> The greatest gift one can give a child as a parent is independence. To teach them to think independently, to stand on their own two feet, to be their own person, is the essence of bringing up children. Not seen as a warm, snugly nurturer.

<IB>Contracting:<N> Contracts are seen as statements of intent. They are to be defined carefully, then redefined in the light of the emerging realities.

<IB>Ending Relationships:<N> Once a relationship is over it needs to be dropped so one can move on to new goals. One must learn from the experience now ending, but the mind may be slower to let go of a relationship than is evident in the INTJ's behavior. They have internal struggle over understanding the dynamics of the relationship's failure.}
