Sex and Intimacy Type Talk
If you are...
And Your Partner is ...

Extravert
Introvert

Extravert
* Allow some time to listen to each other.
* Promise yourself to be more expressive about what's going on, what you think about it, and how it makes you feel.


* Talk about the moment. Paint word pictures.  But be careful not to compete with each other. 
* Talk more than you personally feel is necessary. Say nothing.


* Make it loud and lovely, with a variety of expressions.
* Try to do more than just whisper.  Force some loudness in expressing yourself.


Extravert
Introvert

Introvert
* Allow time and space for your mate to reflect on the experience.
* Share some of what you are thinking.


* Listen and affirm, rather then preparing a response while mate is talking.
* Remember you both need to push yourselves to disclose your experience.


* Solicit and contract in advance for verbal feedback.
* Enjoy to the maximum the quiet reflective closeness. 


Sensor
iNtuitive

Sensor
* Forget all else and revel in the moment.
* Create pictures of your intentions, then act upon them.


* Experience all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches available.
* Overload your space with sounds, smells, and other sensory experiences.


* Don't worry about enjoying the moment too much.
* Be specific, tactile, and immediate.


Sensor
iNtuitive

iNtuitive
* Allow time to share previous experiences.
* Tease your fantasies, and have all needed props available.


* Show and tell your partner what you want.
* Share your wildest fantasies, then act them out.


* Do to your partner what you want done to you. 
* Share your dreams and visions of the ultimate experience.


Sex and Intimacy Type Talk
If you are...
And Your Partner is ...

Thinker
Feeler

Thinker
* The way to all good sex is through the mind.  Think about it.
* Don't over personalize.  Challenge your partner to discuss sexual ideas.


* Share the concept of intimacy and discuss it.
* Plant thoughts of sex for later on.


* Bait with an idea, hook with a mental image, and reel in with a challenge.
* Think and analyze so you can both learn from the experience.


Thinker
Feeler

Feeler
* Don't you be afraid to sound a little syrupy or sentimental.  It won't kill you and your lover will appreciate it. 
* Lose yourself for your partner. It makes you a happy, fulfilled martyr.


* Afterward, be positive, affirming, and tenderhearted.
     Try not to be analytical.
* Help each other be positive and affirming, with many happy strokes.


* Experience the moment without trying to improve it.
* Keep in mind that a little guilt plus a little absolution equals perfect togetherness.


Judger
Perceiver

Judger
* It's on the List.  Now is the time to do it.
* Recognize that a surprise, though exciting, can be more stressful than sexy. 


* Follow your tried-and-true routines.  They bring security and freedom.
* Hit and run: Drop a few hints, get out of the way, and try to bring it up later.


* Have your plans and share them. Decide who will be spontaneous each time.
* Remember, change and spontaneity for your partner happen slowly over time.


Judger
Perceiver

Perceiver
* The more you know your limits, the more you will be free to experiment. 
* Whenever, however, go with the flow.  Enjoy-just let it happen.


* Plan to stretch a bit. Now and then, "plan" to do something unplanned.
* Process the experience and seduce each other with erotic alternatives.


* Announce your plans and intentions.  Talk about what's negotiable and what isn't. 
* Intimacy has no beginnings or endings.  It happens when and where it happens.

