.intro
{Let's start with the basics:  stress is inevitable, and not all of it is bad.  In fact, certain kinds of stress keep us on our toes, motivated, and ready for action.  Stress has been likened to a bell curve - we are at our best when we're moving toward the top.<R>
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At its peak, stress gives us a sense of being out of control.  At its ebb, lack of stress creates an apathy that can render us defenseless and paralyzed.  So a certain amount of stress is inevitable and healthy. <R>
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Another basic fact is that what stresses one personality type may be relaxing to another.  "Easy listening" (read: elevator) music may make some workers relaxed and productive, while for others, it is the musical equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard.  So, too, for classical, country-western, opera, or jazz.  What seems harmless - indeed beneficial - to us may send others in the office over to the windowsill to contemplate jumping. <R>
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But music is only the beginning.  From personal habits (foot tapping, nail biting, pacing) to personal style (dress, mannerisms, speech patterns) to the manifestations of different preferences (thinking out loud, chronic tardiness, rigidity) there's something in each of us that can potentially drive someone else up a wall. <R>
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Of course we haven't even mentioned the big-picture stressors - relationships, personal finances, world crises, the stock market, and deadlines, to name just a few.  To varying degrees these touch each of us over the course of the day - and on into the sleepless night. <R>
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It's important to note that severe stress rarely results from just one or two factors.  In most cases, stress has a building-block effect: personal issues piled on top of work issues combined with concern for the state of the world, all feeding each other.  It may be one additional, perhaps trivial, matter that puts you over the top - the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. <R>
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Just as different types create stress differently, so, too, does each type interpret and deal with stress in different ways.  Some talk their way through it - to friends, neighbors, and veritable strangers - while others work it out, inside themselves  Some types tackle their stressors and hit them head-on while others prefer to imagine them out of existence.  Some interpret stress as a personal attack by a specific individual (or even by the entire universe), while others interpret it as one of the laws of life, as sure as death and taxes. <R>
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Before describing how each of the sixteen types reacts to stress, let's first point out a few dynamics that often accompany stress for most personality types.  The first is illustrated in the old adage, "When you're knee-deep in alligators, it's hard to remember that your original mission was to drain the swamp."  In other words, stress often sneaks up on us, and it's not until we are "knee deep" that we suddenly realize how stressful a situation is.  It then acts like a snowball rolling down a hill, enlarging rapidly unless we find a way to stop the momentum.  It can soon be out of control. <R>
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We have a great deal of control over some parts of our lives and little or no control over other parts.  The difference between being stressed and being relaxed is the wisdom to know which things we can change and which things we can't. <R>
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In dealing with a stressful relationship with a co-worker, it makes sense to try to control your own behavior, your own work habits, and your own job responsibilities.  It would be futile - and a recipe for stress - to project your anger onto your co-workers, to try to change them, or to modify your own work habits to accommodate a situation that may be impossible to ameliorate. <R>
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You can be in charge of yourself, which can help to keep your stress in bounds, but you can't control others.  By the way, this same rule applies to other parts of life - everything from traffic jams to shoppers having more than the requisite number of items in the express check-out lane.  You can control the route you drive or the way you respond to the traffic - you can turn on the radio or simply take a deep breath - but your anger and stress won't budge gridlocked rush-hour traffic an inch. <R>
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Often what is happening is that life has moved us, or we perceive it has moved us, to operate primarily from our non-preferences and not from our preferences.  If as a Sensor, you are forced to spend an inordinate amount of time creating a visionary strategic plan rather than producing some tangible results, you may indeed be on a nonstop bus to Stressville.  If you must rely largely on your non-preferences to cope with a situation, you are already starting off on the wrong foot.  You may act responsibly and successfully in the situation, but that won't necessarily ward off stress. <R>
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Stress attacks us when:  a) we're not paying attention to it;  b) we feel we're losing control;  c) we're trying to control the wrong or inappropriate areas of our - or others' - lives; and  d) we're forced to use our non-preferences more than our preferences. <R>
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Given all this, a fundamental part of dealing with stress is to understand how each of the preferences interprets and deals with stressful situations.}
.sub
{TOO MUCH STRESS IN AN ENFJ CAN EXPRESS ITSELF BEHAVIORALLY AS:}
.one
{Low self-esteem and sullen rejection of others: }
.onea
{Stressed ENFJs believe that people are no damn good, totally untrustworthy.  That's because the ENFJ is no damn good and totally untrustworthy.  The ENFJ's theme song becomes "Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me, Guess I'll Go Eat Worms..."}
.two
{An almost blind denial of negative reality: }
.twoa
{ENFJs would almost rather martyr themselves than accept a negative truth about anyone - especially a trusted friend or relative.  "Sucker" tends to be written all over them; and when someone else acts in a negative way, withdrawal, sulkiness, bitterness, unforgiveness, absolutism all command the ENFJ's behaviors.}
.three
{Fatigue, anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness take center stage: }
.threea
{When the ENFJ is caught in too much stress, there are not many negotiables.  The positive quickly turns toxic and is easily spewed on or towards others.  Then the ENFJ makes a hasty retreat into non-communication that ranges from bitterness to "I'll not forget today and I'll get even."}
