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{<b><p18> ESTJ <p12><n>}
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{<b>Lean on Me<n>

<IB>General Statement:<N> Their gift to a relationship is stability and organization. They tend to be dependable, gregarious, and generally optimistic. Their capability and thoroughness can make them appear impatient and at times short-tempered. Rarely at a loss for words, they move through relationships convinced that they are right and that the world would be a better place if everyone else would conform.

<IB>First Impressions:<N> Appropriate and well-mannered, they give an aura of being in charge of themselves and able to be in charge of the situation whenever necessary. They are engaging and easily engaged, rather robust and quick to share opinions of anything if moderately encouraged. Enjoy wit in others and are quick to be witty.

<IB>Communications:<N> They are sharp with words and very easy to talk to, always conveying the right words for the situation. Will be initially friendly and involving, however, as communication continues they can appear impatient and opinionated. They have a high need to be heard and to be influential. Can also be status conscious.

<IB>Finance:<N> Conservative but concerned about money. Good at long-term investing. They tend to have money and keep it. Responsible to causes if institutions (church, company, community, family) expect them to be. They can be very guarded and unwilling to take risks, always seeking to maximize security in the name of the family.

<IB>Conflict:<N> It is a reality of life. Responsibility includes finishing what you start, and that includes conflicts. In other words, if you start a conflict, you must finish it, and if you can't take it, then stay away. Don't open your mouth with any inflammatory words if you are not ready for the consequences.

<IB>Sex and Intimacy:<N> It is tangible and objective in terms of measured promises and obligations. For an ESTJ the mere act of providing for a family, and the stability that comes with such providence, are proof of their love. If it can't be measured and predicted, then intimacy probably doesn't exist. When you've got it, you know it; there's no need to blab it in sentimental inappropriateness.

<IB>Commitment:<N> It's forever. They took the vow and remain true to their word. If the relationship gets into trouble, you may sleep in separate beds, barely speak, but never split up. ESTJs may prefer to get lost in their work, hobbies, or other pursuits as means of avoiding a bad relationship. But to the outside world the commitment is intact, and that's important.

<IB>Parenting:<N> For ESTJs this is a never-ending responsibility, accepted as a fact of life. They can meddle when the kids go astray, work hard at shaping them up, even cut them off when things go badly. But when they show up at the door, an ESTJ parent will always take them back because they are their children forever. It's a duty that the ESTJ accepts gladly.

<IB>Contracting:<N> Contracts are one more goal that can be measured and quantified. If satisfaction is not realized, one must redo the contract or consider it null and void. So a contract is binding, but if you break your word or the contract, then all is up for grabs.

<IB>Ending Relationships:<N> It's not over until it's over, but when it's over, cut the cord and get on with life. Relationships, like anything else, are measurable and have certain goals. Without them you've got no relationship; without another person you've got no need for a goal. Of course, goals change or are redefined. It's just another fact of life.}
