Communication Type Talk
If you are...
And Your Partner is ...

Extravert
Introvert

Extravert
* Repeat what you heard your partner say before you begin speaking.
* Demand quiet time and space from your partner.


* Try not to both talk at the same time.
* Work at being direct and expressive now and then.


* Try to hear what's being said without formulating your response.  If necessary, count to five before you speak.
* Don't be afraid to shout to make yourself heard or understood.


Extravert
Introvert

Introvert
* Allow for private time.  Try to sit silently in your partner's presence.
* Fight avoidance by speaking out, no matter how awkward it may seem.


* Now and then, put it in writing instead of saying it.
* Edit yourself out loud instead of inside.


* Find alternative ways of expressing yourself.
* Enjoy the silence, appreciate the space, and love your partner's contemplative nature.


Sensor
iNtuitive

Sensor
* Work on restating the obvious in general terms.
* Remember that much of what you say-and don't say-will be taken literally.


* Share your dreams with each other.
* Appreciate the specific and grounded help your partner gives to what you say.


* Try to keep each other from always interpreting so literally what's being said.
* Remember that your partner prefers precision and facts before he or she can formulate a response.


Sensor
iNtuitive

iNtuitive
* Keep in mind that whatever you say, your partner will find different ways to interpret it.
* Be sure to check out each other's meanings about what is being said.


* Check interpretations and meanings so you are satisfied with what's been said.
* Allow time for each of you to stop, look, listen, smell, feel, or taste.  Don't be afraid to let your senses become overloaded.


* Keep in mind that your partner may naturally give a general response to your specific statement. 
* Translate what the other is saying into specifics: who, what, where, when, and why.


Communication Type Talk
If you are...
And Your Partner is ...

Thinker
Feeler

Thinker
* Remember that each of you has emotions.  Be sure to consider feelings in your communications.
* Don't be afraid to have a knock-down-drag-out fight now and then.


* Be careful not to become too competitive in your conversations.
* Once in a while, try to express something negative without feeling guilty  


* If others are present, be aware of how they will hear what you are saying. 
* Avoid saying "I'm sorry" or "It's my fault" to your partner during an argument.


Thinker
Feeler

Feeler
* Try to say "I'm sorry" once in a while, if only on general principle. 
* Face the disagreeable with each other. Remember that it cannot be avoided.


* Say "I love you"-whatever that means to you-with no purpose or goal in mind. Or, if you prefer, send a card.

* Try not to rescue or personalize what the other person says.


* Keep in mind that when your partner surfaces an issue, he or she may want support, not analysis.
* Enjoy the affirmations and good feelings you give each other.


Judger
Perceiver

Judger
* Give in now and then, even when you know you are right.
* Help your partner understand that he or she can'' control everything-especially you.


* Try to raise a question in place of giving an answer or offering advice.
* Help your partner see more than just answers and directions in what you are saying.


* Remember that some things are beyond either of your control.
* Remember that what your partner is saying may not be final, even if she says it is.


Judger
Perceiver

Perceiver
* Avoid putting your partner in a corner, conversationally. Allow room for him or her to move.
* Make sure that one of you makes a decision and follows through with it.


* Help your partner sort out what you do not want, knowing that you can live with the rest.
* Help each other focus the conversation. Try to monitor when one of you strays off course.


* Appreciate your partner's ability to generate alternatives. Don't be afraid to consider them
* Try whenever possible to finish-hey, is that a new car?-your sentences.

