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{<b><p16>ESFJ:  Everyone's Trusted Friend<n><p12> }
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{<I>Graciousness<N> describes the general lifestyle of the ESFJ, and it also sums up their management style. From separating conflicted workers to overseeing the company Christmas party, the ESFJ brings an appropriateness and graciousness to whatever is demanded. Such a quality is both an asset and a liability. It's an asset because ESFJs motivate and encourage workers to accomplish goals, and the work setting is a very pleasant one, albeit somewhat formal. The liability can result in the ESFJ's allowing themselves to be taken advantage of constantly. 

ESFJs are socially gregarious (Extravert), which is manifested especially in the precious attention they pay to both organizational and personal details (Sensing). All of this happens in an interpersonal style given to praise and other affirmations (Feeling) against a backdrop of structure, schedule, and order (Judging). It is the ESFJ manager who will remember names and birthdays and do little niceties throughout the workday. When one works for an ESFJ, he or she is usually quite sure of what the ESFJ appreciates and what tasks have been performed well. However, one also knows when a mistake has been made. The ESFJ's parental judgment, even impatience, is apparent if no words have been spoken. 

It is a Santa Clause management style, in which the ESFJ keeps lists, even mental ones, and checks them twice, noting who's been naughty and who's been nice. Score is kept by an ESFJ manager; it's part of the turf. Rewards are forthcoming for good work and critical glances and guilt trips can accompany misplaced work assignments and energies. 

Gender issues are a factor among ESFJs, but in very unexpected ways. For one thing it is almost impossible to find a female ESFJ beyond middle management. The ESFJ is very traditional and formal, and in keeping with those traditions upper management is considered "a man's job." These traditions are so strong that they are followed even by ESFJ females themselves, who may likely turn down a promotion, preferring a man to fill that role. In jobs where ESFJ females predominate -- teaching, nursing, real estate, and sales -- they still frequently refuse the promotion to top positions in favor of males. Such refusal, while frustrating to other non-ESFJ females, plays marvelously into all of the ESFJ's expectations, values, and traditions. 

For the male ESFJ it's a very different story. Their traditionalism tells them they should compete and rise to top positions. As a result they may be found across all levels of management, and in higher positions their competitive drive can make them appear to be super-macho among other men. In women's presence, in contrast, they are prone to behave strictly "by the rules," with nary a misspoken word or other inappropriate behavior. All of this is done with ease and facility, which makes them quite acceptable to a broad spectrum of types. 

Those who manage to catch the male ESFJ at both acts -- one minute acting tough and drinking beers with the boys, the next minute appearing suave and gallant among the ladies -- may well conclude that the ESFJ is two-faced, perhaps phony, and not to be trusted. This is a false assumption, and should the ESFJ get wind of it, he will likely feel severely wounded, having considered himself to be of extremely high integrity. It is very important for the ESFJ male to recognize this possibility and to do what is necessary to head off such perceptions. Others must understand that this behavior results from a dichotomy between the Sensing-Judging traditionalism and the Extraverted-Feeling need to affirm everyone according to his or her differences. Although these conflicting forces may seem irreconcilable, to the ESFJ, they're not. In fact to the ESFJ, relating differently to each individual is part of the awesome responsibility of effective leadership. 

The ESFJ's strengths are many and varied. They are punctual, neat, responsible, and highly productive, with a great concern for others. In no time they can become the institutional memory and generally achieve a favorable balance between the people being managed (process) and the tasks to be accomplished (product). These things combined make them friendly motivators for whom to work. They know when to push the work force, when to hold the line and be firm, and when to back off and socialize. A sense of duty, loyalty, and ethical commitment to the organization are embedded deeply in the ESFJ's management style. They live and work that way - and expect others to do the same. Such commitment can at times make them seem like slaves to the organization. The ESFJ would see no problem with that description, and would wonder why everyone isn't similarly inclined. 

All of these qualities, while certainly admirable, can also set ESFJs up for some serious problems. For example, their good nature seems to be constantly tested by others. And when pushed to the limit, ESFJs are more likely to acquiesce than to hold fast. That's doubly problematic for the ESFJ: Not only are they taken advantage of in the workplace but the residual anger may be carried home and directed to friends or family members. In either case it is an issue that ought to have been dealt with at work. Moreover ESFJs' sense of appropriateness can, when pushed to the limit, make them appear rigid and closed to new ideas. When backed into such a corner it is the ESFJ more than other types who is prone to induce guilt and shame as a way of making colleagues or subordinates respond. They can unwittingly pour on the guilt -- "After all I've done for you. . ." -- which is neither becoming nor appropriate, especially at work. 

Perhaps even more serious is the ESFJ's proclivity to avoid conflict. They would rather deny something's wrong than confront it. When a disagreement occurs, it is particularly lika an ESFJ to sweep it under the rug. Failing this, an ESFJ will be inclined to buy everyone a cup of coffee (or chicken soup or beer), sit around a table and say, "There, there. We're all friends. Everything's O.K. What's the big deal?" A simple raising of the voice in a hearty argument or simple disagreements can be interpreted by an ESFJ as extreme hostility and ultimately destructive to relationships and productivity. Such a reaction generally renders the ESFJ somewhere between traumatic ineptitude and total frozen incompetence. What may seem a harmless yet necessary process -- simple day-to-day discussions that move the organization toward its goals -- can result in the ESFJ losing control and can leave them feeling very incapable. It may be nothing short of a terrifying experience. 

ESFJs need to realize that conflict and disagreement are a part of everyday activity. They must understand that they will be respected far more for sticking to their guns than by caving in to other points of view in the name of harmony. They need to remind themselves constantly that conflict and disharmony can lead a group to increased creativity and productivity. Most of all, ESFJs must continually remind themselves in such situations that the disharmony is generally not a reflection on them and that seeing it through to a solution is better for all involved. 

Given such responsibility and nurturing tendencies, the ESFJ can become stressed when people do not live up to what the ESFJ defines as appropriate and responsible. For someone in authority to tell the ESFJ not to worry about such things only adds to the ESFJ's tension; "not worrying" becomes another thing to worry about. Instead ESFJs need to talk things through with others. They especially need support, encouragement, and social connections during stressful situations, even though their own tendency would be to deny such support or to feel unworthy of it. Hard work, even busy work, is better than sitting around alone imagining the worst. Diverting the stress energy into some meaningful activity with measurable results and positive social reinforcement is probably as effective as any stress-reducing technique for this type. 

Careers in which ESFJs excel include the social services -- public health and social welfare agencies, for example -- sales (especially real estate), school administration, and clergy. All of these areas allow ESFJs to maximize their natural talents to be gregariousness, interpersonally skilled, organized, and focused upon others' needs. In addition, because ESFJs, more other types, often find themselves in careers that result from emulating childhood role models, they can and do work well in many other fields for which they would not normally seem appropriate, including accounting, law, and engineering.

<b>Workplace Contribution:<n>
Builds a harmonious environment that supports personal achievement and task accomplishment

<b>Pathway to Professional Growth:<n>
Must learn to experience differences, to allow them to be expressed and to recognize that conflict is not always destructive

<b>Leadership Qualities:<n>
Projects inspiration and graciousness with a constant yet gentle nudge towards task completion

<b>Team Spirit:<n>
Teams are good and can be productive; however, arguments and interpersonal disagreements should not be tolerated}
